


they make it easier

by juggyjones



Series: in this universe, we're fighters [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Drug Addiction, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Pre-Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 14:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15753900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juggyjones/pseuds/juggyjones
Summary: Kane deals with the discovery of Abby’s addiction.





	they make it easier

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a while back as an anonymous request on tumblr but forgot to post it on here

Abby, Kane notices, has periods when it feels like she’s taking their situation well, better than Kane would expect from her. Then again, there are periods when she’s itchy, irritable and making scenes out of little, irrelevant things.

It takes him three months of this to realize she isn’t mentally ill, suffering some sort of PTSD – she’s battling addiction.

He consults with Jackson, first. He lists all the things he’s noticed, never mentioning her name or giving any signs of who they’re talking about, but by the time Jackson confirms his doubts, Kane’s almost certain they both know who he’s talking about.

Abby is good at deceiving – but not with people who know her almost as well as she does.

“How do we do this?” asks Jackson, about a week later, when Abby’s state became magically better. “It – it can’t go on.”

“I know,” Kane says. “I know.”

He looks at Abby—she’s working on one of the people who were injured in the most recent attack on the people from the Ark—and she smiles at him, giving him a small wave before diverting her attention back to her patient. Her hair is in the trademark braid and even though she hasn’t slept in over sixteen hours, she looks less tired than she has for the past week.

Kane likes seeing her thriving, but not like this. Not when she should have her head and her priorities straight. Not when she, of all people, should know the consequence of being a drug addict.

“We can’t allow her to do this to herself,” Jackson says. “If not for her, then for the medical supplies. We can’t have her steal more. We can’t have someone find out.”

Jackson is right and Kane hates it – he hates that it has allowed it to reach this point.

He loves Abby. But the neither the Abby on drugs or withdrawal Abby are the one he fell in love with.

And it’s dangerous.

“We’ll make her go cold turkey,” he says. It’s going to put a dent in their relationship, but it’s necessary. “We need her back with a clear head.”

Jackson nods. “Yes, sir.”

It takes Abby three weeks to realize what’s going on. She enters their sleeping compartments with a frown on her face, her braid long forgotten, and deep, dark circles framing her eyes.

She looks wretched and it makes him feel the same.

“Marcus, we need to talk.”

“Abby—”

She grabs his hand and digs her fingers into his wrist, and that’s how Kane knows he won’t have the heart to watch her like this. But he gives her a chance to explain herself or whatever it is that she’s planning to do – he owes her that much.

Outside their ‘bedroom’, they’re finally alone for the first time and he feels her hand shaking. She’s been busy with medical work and he’s been busy trying to talk some sense into Octavia and they’ve barely seen each other.

It occurs to Kane only now that this might have something to do with what’s happening to her.

“What are you doing?”

He looks into her eyes and tries to find the woman he fell in love with. Not this one, who grips his wrist so tightly it’s going to bruise, who clenches her teeth at him, who looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks, months.

Kane closes his eyes. The breath that passes his lips almost hitches in his throat. “I’m helping you.”

“You’re ruining me.”

“Abby, you’re not being yourself. I know they’re – they’re helping with Clarke and the chaos in here and with everything that’s going on, but it’s not the solution.”

“I know,” Abby says. She lowers her head and releases her grip, and when she looks up at him, he thinks he sees a glint of the Abby he loves. “It makes it easier to bear.”

“It’s just an illusion. They’re chemicals.”

“Happiness is only a chemical, too.”

Kane gives her a sad smile. He runs a hand over her cheek, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Her skin is dry underneath his fingertips and he wonders when did she go astray.

Was it when they realized they lost Clarke?

Was it when they realized their rations weren’t going to be enough?

Was it when Octavia became Blodreina?

 _Any of these could be the cause_ , Kane thinks. As he looks at her, vulnerable in ways he wishes he could fix, he wonders how much of it is his fault.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “For not being there for you.”

Abby looks like she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t.

He wonders if he’s already lost her to the madness.

“You can help me now,” she says at last. She looks him straight in the eye with an intensity he’s rarely seen her use. “By giving back what I need. You and Jackson.”

“Abby—”

“It’s a crime, I know.” She smiles at him, but it’s the smile of an addict. “Are you going to turn me in?”

Kane sighs. “No.”

“Then give it back.”

“Abby, you’re strong.” He steps closer to her and she leans into his palm, eyes fluttering for just a second. “You can fight this on your own. With my help. With Jackson.”

When she opens her eyes, there is no trace of Abby who was there just for a fleeting moment – his Abby. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

He doesn’t want to believe it. But she walks away from him and they both know he’s going to give in  _just_ because he doesn’t want to believe it.

Maybe she’s already succumbed to the madness.


End file.
